You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
