If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
