i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In America we eat man semen.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
