her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
