ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
