I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
