What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
