I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
