I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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