so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
