yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
