what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
