Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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