Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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