It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need to calm my uterus...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
