lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
