Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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