Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
