Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
