obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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