Apparently you make a good broom.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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