U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
