I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
