she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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