moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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