Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
