dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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