new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize