so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
