People in love make me want to vomit
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
