I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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