sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
