Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
