even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
