It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
