me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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