we have officially lost it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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