Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
pray to the hookup gods
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
