Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
