Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
