PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
