When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
