Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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