so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
