piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
