I just saw a hot homeless man
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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