3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
