Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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