Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
