Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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