is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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