i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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