I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
