your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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